The whole premise of spring-cleaning is to find ways to make your home life feel just a little shinier, tidier and more attractive. Doesn’t your sex life deserve that too? Because let’s be real, if you’re going to the trouble to KonMari your life, there’s nothing that deserves to spark joy more than what you’ve got going on in the bedroom. Here, six ways to spring clean your sex life.
1. Be selective
Just like purging your closet, the first step toward spring-cleaning your sex life is assessing what you want to keep and what you want to throw away. Create a space where you’re surrounded by images and people who make you feel uplifted and validated. “If you know you feel bad because you’re scrolling on Instagram and everyone seems way hotter or skinner or sexier than you—unfollow those accounts,” says Shan Boodram, sexologist and certified sex educator. “Be with people who remind you of your beauty and your power and get rid of anyone who makes you feel less.”
2. Practice self-love
Don’t worry. We’re not here to push cheesy self-help mantras. “I kinda low-key hate positive thinking because it’s this notion that you’re all of a sudden supposed to feel different for no real reason,” says Boodram. Instead, she recommends focusing on things you can do to counter negative feelings or reinforce good ones. “Really small adjustments – like purchasing a new outfit or using coconut oil as your daily moisturizer so you feel more dewy and glow-y as you go about your day – can have a massive impact on your sexual confidence in ways you don’t expect,” says Boodram.
3. Update your sex kit
Don’t have one? Make one! “A sex kit is a little box of essentials like lube, massage oil, sex toys or even a red light bulb you screw in every once in awhile on a Friday night or Saturday morning—whatever your thing is,” says Boodram. “These small things can really make the experience feel surprisingly new and different.”
4. Splurge on new sheets
“Why not make the environment where you’re most likely to do it more comfortable?” says Boodram. Quality counts. No one wants rough linens against their most sensitive areas, so look for thread counts over 300. Netflix and chill more your style? Refresh your couch. “If you have a lot of sofa sex, look for a throw pillow with a nice wedge to it,” adds Boodram. It’ll add style to your home and give you extra lift for those hard-to-reach angles.
5. Schedule a check-up
Just as a newly organized closet may require some regular upkeep and maintenance, so does your sex life. Check in with your medical provider to make sure your exams and STI screenings are up-to-date. Knowing what’s going on down there is empowering. Plus, getting a clean bill of health is great for your peace of mind and important for building trust with current and future partners.
6. Think different
New experiences activate the brain’s reward center—the same area ignited in early romantic love, according to research by Dr. Arthur Aron, at New York’s Stony Brook University. “New is something we all crave in every area of our life, so there’s no reason to feel defeated if you feel that way about sex,” says Boodram. Look for activities that allow you to discover something new about your partner or with your partner. “These small acts can trick your brain into feeling that rush of dopamine again and create a renewed sense of excitement you can take back with you to the bedroom.”